Well, y'all asked for it.

I'm going to start with the cook. I have a lot a lot to write about in the next few days, so I'll try to make a post every day until I get it all out. You guys will be sick of me.

So this cook started maybe two, three months ago. He would get angry at us when he didn't know the menu or was left alone, which was understandable at first.
But now, any time he is alone (between 2-3pm when the other cook on duty takes a break and after 8pm when he is closing) every order is a fiasco. He curses in Turkish. He curses in English. He curses in Turklish. You have to read your order to him three times, and it's usually still wrong.
"I need a chicken a la king." (Which comes over rice)
"Over nothing?"
"No, over rice."
"Over mashed potatoes?"
"NO, it comes over RICE."
I get it over nothing. And I get cursed at when I tell him it's wrong.
Sometimes, if we're not busy and I don't feel like dealing with him, I go behind the line and cook the food myself.

If you hate your job as a cook, there's four doors. Use one and go somewhere else.

He despises modifications. His most famous quote is, "Everybody special, everybody order something different."
Uhm, YEAH. That's why we hand out those little booklets we call MENUS when we seat people.

Now, keep in mind I started at the diner as a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, innocent little 18-year-old. I've since gone to university and worked there for four years, so I'm a little wiser and a little more cynical, but they all still think of me as "their daughter," "little girl," etc.
The first time I got so fed up with this cook and used the f-word, it was silent in the kitchen. Everyone came out to apologize to me, it was adorable.
Since then, every night I work with him, one of these phrases leaves my mouth:
"Do me a favor on that order. Shut the fuck up and cook it."
"Nobody else is bitching about their job, we're just as hot and tired as you are. Shut your fucking mouth and cook."
And other colorful phrases. When the second cook comes back from break, depending on how pissed I am at that point, they get a
"Get the fuck back there and help him." (I always feel terrible and apologize after that one)
"THANK GOD YOU ARE HERE."

Everyone else has the same problems with this cook. Why is he still there?!