Saturday, July 14, 2012

You know you're a server when..

-You have an endless supply of ones, fives, etc. People always come to you to break twenties and if you're young enough, the bank assumes you're a stripper.

-Friends have a love/hate relationship with eating out in your company. Love because you can split the check and calculate the tip in the bink of an eye. Hate because you tend to say things like, 'Oh.. I wouldn't have done that." or, "No, see, she's just ringing in their food and then she's going to run get outs, don't worry!"

-Other servers/bartenders love you. If you're not an asshole, you tip well, stack the plates, and generally try to act the way you wish your customers did.

-You pretty consistently smell like onions and french fries. You attract very strange people of the opposite sex for that reason.

-Endless supply of pens. If you can't find one, you have another and you'll probably find the original later that night behind your ear or in your ponytail.

-If you've done it long enough, you develop a vice to deal with the total lack of faith you now have in humanity. Smoking, drinking, arts and crafts, what have you.

Random thoughts of the night, luckily I actually jotted them down tonight. Anything to add?


  1. I've got one! You know you're a server when you haven't been to an extended family get- together in many many years, because they are always on the weekend, and even if there WAS someone willing to cover you, you'd hate to miss out on a prime money shift! It's okay, your family is used to it, and your Mom drops off leftovers the next day.

    My husband and I are both servers, and we almost always miss these events. Although, last year I did manage to make it to HIS family's Thanksgiving (late, and without him!) and he made it to MY family's Christmas (late, and without ME!) They really are used to it...but it sucks and one day I hope it will change.

    1. That's a good one! It does suck.. thanks for following and commenting!

  2. You know you are a waiter when you have to buy a new pair of work shoes every three weeks.

  3. Nice ones! Here are mines and Kind regards, The CrazyWaiter :D