Mama... just killed a man...

Well. We have a regular customer. You know those regulars.

He complains about everything to anyone who will lend an ear. Burger too well done, burger not done enough, too much sauce, not enough sauce, too much broth, too much chicken, it never ends. Keep in mind he sits and reads his paper for twenty minutes and wonders why his coffee is cold. You've waited tables for three days, you know this man.

So I decided, next time I get a complaint, (AKA next time I waited on him), I was going to say something. This night, the coffee was warm and the food cold. I tried to see what I could do - take it back, nuke it, give him something else. No. "You're going to take it back cold and it's going to come back cold. I don't know why I come back here anymore."

"Well, you find something to complain about every time you come in, I don't know why you come back either."

He told me he was here for the "good" years, and now apparently the "bad" years. I told him we're getting new customers, we're advertising, etc etc and we have NOT had complaints.

He finally pays and leaves, taking the burger home for the dog. He's still in the parking lot when we close up about 45 minutes later, so we knock on his window and he says he's waiting for an ambulance. They come, they take him, a friend picks his car up the next morning and I hope I didn't give him a heart attack.

A prayer for the feeble-minded.

I had an interesting interaction today. An elderly gentleman came in today, wanting to order a to-go. The host directs him to me, so I greet him and the following exchange occurs:

Blondie: What would you like, sir?
Elderly Gentleman: I want dinner, but I don't want mashed potatoes.
B: Sure, you can replace that. What would you like for dinner?
EG: Good, can I get french fries instead?
B: Of course, but what is the entree?
EG: They've made it for me before, and it comes with a salad. I just don't want mashed potatoes.
B: Okay.. but... what do you want?
EG: I want dinner to go.
B: Okay, well you have to tell me what you want for dinner. Do you want to look at the menu?
EG: No, no, I had it before. I just don't want mashed potatoes, and I want a salad.

At this point I realize he's a little.. not all there. So I try to avoid getting frustrated and help him out.

B: Okay, do you want chicken, turkey, roast beef, a sandwich? What are you looking for?
EG: Yeah, sure, roast beef, and french fries and a salad.
B: Well, sir, I just want to make sure you're getting what you want, and I can't do that if you don't specify so I can tell the kitchen.
EG: They made it for me before. I just don't want mashed potatoes.

Now, I'm getting a little confused myself and my co-worker can see I'm starting to get annoyed, so she butts in and tells me he normally gets the roast chicken. I ask him if he wants that, and he's saying 'Yeah, sure, I just want dinner' again. I told my co-worker to just take it, because apparently she's waited on him before. She told me later he reminds her of her dad, whose brain is also a little fuddled. When he left, he gave her a 10 and me a 5, which I tried to refuse, but he insisted since "I got no better use for it and at least you tried!"
I hope I'm like that when I'm older. I mean, you can't take it with you when you go.