I had a table tonight of three ladies. They requested me, which made me want to crawl in a hole and die because they are obnoxious and tip like shit.
One lady must have really enjoyed hearing herself talk and not so much my responses, because she continually repeated herself. She must have asked me three times if the ribs were tender, and I responded at least three times that I personally have not had them, but have never had a complaint and they were one of our most popular menu items.
Then she asked me more stupid questions.
"How often do they change the oil they fry in? Do they use the powder to clean it? That stuff will make you sick!"
Well, lady, I don't have chef's pants on, but if you got sick and died I wouldn't cry at your funeral.
She told me three times it was her birthday. The other two ladies reiterated the fact. I continued not caring.
Now, a lot of our menu items come with dessert, a small dish of ice cream or pudding. She asked if we had birthday cake. I said no.
She told me four different times, in four different ways, that EVERY OTHER place has birthday cake.
Eventually I told her, "You should have gone somewhere else then, because we don't."