Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Have you ever heard of Portuguese Wine?

Bless their souls, this million-year old couple come in every now and again. The husband orders 'Portuguese Wine.' The first time I served them, I was confused. I told him we don't serve alcohol, and he responds, "Yes, I've had it here before."
"No sir, we've never served alcohol."
Turns out he means root beer. ?!!!
I tell him I've never heard of that phrase, where did it come from? He says, "From me!"

Well, that's one hurdle down. Now, the lady asks me what soup we have that night.
"Chicken rice and beef macaroni."
"No noodle soup?"
"No ma'am, chicken noodle is on Saturdays."
"But... I've had noodle soup here before!"
"Well, ma'am, it must have been a Saturday."
This poor thing had a real boner for some noodle soup. As I walk away, I hear, "I really wanted some noodle soup..."

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Getting the word out.

What are your restaurant's methods for garnering attention? How do they advertise?
For my readers that aren't servers (to begin with or anymore), what's the best publicity stunt you've seen from a restaurant?

On the other hand, I had a lady send back a vodka penne dish because she didn't realize there would be vodka in it and she doesn't drink. Eye roll eye roll eye roll.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Snowed in.

So, we've been having a lot of snow lately. Yes, I know you are all shocked and confused.
Yesterday, we were were supposed to get 8-10, but it stopped about 10am and was maybe... 3-4. Nevertheless, I live in more of a backwoods area and on the lucky chance that the roads get plowed, we have a private contractor that does the driveway. It didn't seem too bad, until I went out for the mail and slipped in the road on ice, then tried to get my car out and was stuck.

I called them and told them I just didn't feel comfortable driving, and even if I did, they wouldn't see me until 7pm if I shoveled my driveway. The host told me 'the other girl already called out, we have no one. do you want to talk to the boss?' ...sure?
Boss: "Hello?"
Me: "I don't know why he wanted me to talk to you. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him."
Boss: "Well, we don't have anyone."
Me: "Well... that's not my fault, but I can't drive."

He has a big car and came to get me, but were they really expecting me to risk my life driving on ice because someone else called out? Why can she call out and not me?
Come to find out, they had a day-shift girl stay with me, and one was willing to stay and close.
So not only did I not need to come in, I had maybe 6 tables from 2-7pm. I honestly wanted to cry, I am so tired of this snow and this job.

However, the cook/owner that had come to pick me up came back on his night off in order to take me home. It's confusing that half these people I would trust with my life, while the other would throw me under the bus.

Monday, February 17, 2014

"Hi, guys! How are you today?"

"water. no lemon."
Hmm, didn't know that was an emotion.

"Hi, you two! Do you know what you'd like to drink?"
"I'll have the chicken pot pie, beef macaroni soup."
Hmm, don't think we have a blender in the back but, sure, I'll bring you a straw with it. Rolls and cornbread?

"Well, it looks like we don't need boxes. Are you having anything else tonight?"
..great. I'll bring the check.

Monday, December 30, 2013


We are under new management. No new faces, just some reconstructing, but it is not going as planned.
Our new night manager is a douche. He's condescending and tries to change rules and boss us around like he's an owner and it's aggravating. He runs his shifts all wrong and not... conducive to a happy work environment or a successful business.

Unrelated, but a funny eye-roll story.
A guy orders chicken fingers, I asked him if he wanted any dipping sauces? "No."
I bring out the food - "Can I get some honey mustard?"
Again, sigh.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Paying it forward.

Do you ever give a really good tip for little to no reason?
Wednesday night, I got a two-dollar tip on a fifty-dollar tab, for no reason I could understand. They were definitely white-trash-ish, but I figured at least ten percent. It was so ridiculous I actually had to laugh. If  you don't laugh, you'll cry, right?
So, yesterday, after getting a tire fixed, I decided to go down the road to my favorite breakfast place. I read my book, had my Eggs Benedict, and when I pulled out my wallet the first thing I saw was two twenties. I paid the bill with one and left the other for the waitress with a little note, "From one server to another." It really brought up my mood for the rest of the day thinking of how she would feel picking up that gratuity. Have y'all ever done anything like that?

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

We are individuals!

It really baffles me how unaware customers are about the people that are handling their food.
I understand not catching or forgetting a name when trying to find your server, but I (small, mid-20s), have been mistaken for a woman half a foot taller with forty years on me!
It's always a double-take or a flashback to a server dream when someone randomly asks, 'where's my refill?' and you're thinking, 'oh Lord, are you my table? Wait..'

The one that really bothered me was when someone confused me with one of my good friends. Granted - we're around the same age. But I'm taller, blonder. And the confusion in question was 'hey, aren't you the one that just had a baby?' Do I LOOK like I just had a baby?!

Saturday, July 13, 2013

I promise I'm alive.

I just keep.. running into too many things to keep my mind straight over what to make a post on.
My latest complaint is management. As I've said before - they're Turks. The owner is Turkish, as are the cooks, and they band together.
This means there's a fight in the kitchen that I had nothing to do with, I just happened to be there that day, and I'm stuck closing on Friday nights or I lose them altogether. Vindictive little fuckers.

Then, all the money gets gambled at the casino and our gas gets shut off for a day. That's a night of tips lost, five hours off my paycheck, and the fear of the unknown - will our doors reopen? For how long?

Le sigh. Applications will have to be filled out, and soon.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

"You're a servant. So serve."

If you don't already follow BW, you must read this article.
the bitchy waiter: New York Post Writer, Kyle Smith, Tips 11%

After reading and getting THOROUGHLY pissed off, be sure to head to the good Mr. Smith's blog to leave a comment about what a severely disgusting excuse for a homo sapien sapien he is.

The original offense.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

I'm a waitress, not a doctor.

I really hate when people feel the need to justify their orders to me by recounting their entire medical history. "I'm eating light because I've had diarrhea all day." "I had to go get bloodwork done today so I need to get my sugar up."
If it's not an allergy that you're alerting me about so I know to keep the garlic off your plate, I don't need to know and I really don't care.

My first TWO tables did this to me yesterday, back to back. Husband and wife come in, wife feels the need to expand on every interaction in the ordering process. "I'd really like to get a soup, but it would fill me up too much." "I wish I could eat anything I wanted like I was younger, that cheesecake sounds soooo gooood!" Etc.
The crowning moment was when her husband ordered an extra side of gravy, which is not out of the ordinary at all. But she felt the need to tell me "not to forget it, he needs a lot of gravy because he doesn't produce saliva." What? Is that a thing? And regardless, why did I need to be informed? I was going to bring you the gravy.

The second did the same thing, not to the same extent. She just spent five minutes explaining to me why she needed to replace her french fries with onion rings, because she was diabetic and couldn't have potatoes.

I understand wanting to make conversation, but there's a line, my dudes.