Thursday, December 17, 2015

Again, still alive.

I've read books.
I've watched Netflix.
I've re-watched Netflix.
I've looked up recipes, crafts, home and garden tips. Gotten caught in Wikipedia and Buzzfeed loops. Gotten kaught up on the Kardashians.
I taught myself to crochet.
I've relaxed, I've slept in, I've enjoyed hot tea. Did you know tea is like wine, they all come from different varieties of the same plant?
I learned to french braid my own hair, and gotten used to not seeing my car in the garage.

But as sure as someone is going to walk in that door as soon as you plug in the vacuum and get ready to shut it down - I miss working. I looked at work-from-home, online degrees... even if this trusty ol' thing was good for more than what I need it for (Netflix and... looking up movie times every now and then?), I can't commit to it. I crave movement.

I'm almost there. I've been patient, I swear! Three months next week since the accident. I've been taking my vitamins and everything!
I'm going to cherish every time someone needs a ride, every 11pm craving for a convenience-store candy bar. My mother was sick this week, and I was itching like hell to run out and get her chicken soup.

So, my loves - make a great goddamn resolution. Not something you "should" do, but something you want to do and be realistic. Smoke your morning cigarette, but then drink a bottle of water. Grab Burger King on the way home from work - enjoy those onion rings and read a chapter of the book you've been meaning to get to while you ride your stationary bike.

Happy Holidays, y'all.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Blondie on Hiatus.

I've broken my foot. I can't put any weight on it for six months or so.
So no fun serving stories, but if y'all give me some ideas for hobbies or working from home, I'm sure I can come up with something!

Lots of love, Dear Readers.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Mean lady was back.

AND SHE WAS SO FREAKING NICE. She was all please and thank you, complimented me, honestly freaked me out.

However, I had another lady that more than made up for it.
Mother and daughter, I assume, I bring over their coffees. The mother says, "Oh, we need cream!" I hate when people act like you forgot something when you haven't even left the table to get it from your tray. I smiled, looked at her, and said, "Oh, this is one of the times I wish I had two sets of hands so I didn't have to make so many trips! I didn't forget!" I had the cream in my hand, the mom laughed.
The daughter either misheard or misunderstood me, or maybe because she didn't see that I did have the cream she thought I was being snotty, which I can see, the reaction was wild. She said, "Well, how was she supposed to know that? You didn't have to answer like THAT!" She called over the manager and said I was "rude, rude, rude." Even the mother, who I thought was on my side, jumped in.
I asked another server to take over, I didn't want to deal with that awkwardness. Apparently when she went over, the lady said to her, "That girl is a bitch and I will fuck her up." She spent the rest of the meal glaring at me.

Honestly, who says that? And I expected more of a reaction from my manager - I would have kicked her ass out for threatening an employee!
Obviously, nothing came of it, she was just talking shit, but damn I'd hate to cut her off on the highway.

Monday, August 31, 2015

A lady was mean to me today.

But apparently, she gives everyone a hard time and when she complained to the MOD, she just said, "Yeah, that lady's a bitch."

She ordered a burger and I made the mistake of asking her how she wanted it cooked.
She immediately acted like I should have KNOWN that she wanted it 'NO. PINK.' I asked, "Well done then?"
"NO. I don't want it all dried out."
"Okay, medium well?"
This is where she started raising her voice, interrupting me, and just being a condescending... well, bitch.
I tried telling her there really wasn't anything between medium well and well, so why don't we start with medium well and go from there? We can always cook it more, of course.
Nope. She insisted they did it before and she doesn't want it medium well, but she doesn't want it well and 'dried out.' Finally, she pretty much screamed at me, "Well just TELL HIM THAT."

I had to walk away because I knew much more would reduce me to tears. I mean, this lady came in hot and wouldn't even let me tell her, "I know you come in all the time, I just want to make sure you get what you want." Some people just can't be worked with. I dropped it off, asked if she wanted anything like mayo or mustard, I really tried to kill her with kindness. I even felt bad that I didn't get a chance to check back before she finished and pushed her plate to the side - hobbling-ass fat bitch must have inhaled it. Still, I smiled and brought the check and before I could get the "hav-" out of "have a nice day!" she SNATCHED the bill from me and turned away with the body language of, 'you can go now.'

I walked around back to take a breath before I told MOD my story - I knew she would take my side, but I was honestly so floored that someone would treat a complete stranger so horribly, I really was wondering if I DID do something wrong. She told boss-lady that she normally tips well (yeah right), but I was "argumentative" and she was VERY aggravated. Well, lady, if you can live with it - I can live without it.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Aaaand I'm back.

Well, it was a crazy couple days.

Rumours were flying. That I was crazy, that I was a bitch, the usual. Work Husband walked out, too, and said them firing me was really proof that they didn't care about their employees.

The other part-owner said if I didn't come back, she was out, too. She got him to tweak the schedule so I only work with her (the other host does NOT like me and that was part of my frustration), so basically I got the good money days and I don't have to deal with him. I didn't really want to go back after all that, but I didn't want her to leave and I couldn't pass up that opportunity. I'm making the same amount of money, if not more, working one less day.

Boss-man is too prideful to admit he was wrong, but I swallowed my own and apologized. He apologized in his own way - he asked me if I was okay and said he was glad to have me back. It was a little awkward my first day, but most everyone was on my side and excited to work with me again. Big ego boost. He gave me some hostessing hours while one is on vacation and he, the customers, and the coworkers love the way I do it. I might take one or two permanently, it's kind of nice to be there not in uniform and running the show.

Basically, everything came to a head and turned ugly, but all worked out in the end. We'll see what happens when He-Who-Does-Not-Like-Me returns in two weeks.

Work Husband got a new job and has become Real-Life Boyfriend - we'll work on the alias.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Well, I got fired.

It's been a long time coming. I haven't been happy. Management is... favoritism and backwards and just not conducive to employee morale if you're not a favorite. I don't know why I was not a favorite, I cover, I come in early, I stay late. But I guess if you're a woman who speaks her mind you're just a bitch.
So Wednesday, our closer had called out. Work Husband was supposed to pull the double and close, but the boss told him not to bother. So when I asked, "Who's closing?" The boss said "you are." and I said no. I told I him I was sick of the bs and I had plans and he could have called me earlier or at least asked me. I don't want to close, it's supposed to be my early day and I wanted to leave.
He told me, "Fine. Leave when you leave and don't come back." So I said, "I might as well leave now, then." I gave my checks off and walked out. Everyone is confused and pissed for me.

I just don't know what I'm going to do.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

How do some people get dressed in the morning?

"I have a question. This burger, is it vegetarian?"
"Excuse me?"
"Is this burger vegetarian?"
"Well.. no... it's a burger."

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

People who don't diddly-darn listen.

"I'll have that." - pointing to a stock photo in our menu.
"Well, sir, those aren't our actual dinners. they come from the menu company. But if you're looking for the steaks, they're right below. We actually have the prime rib on special tonight."
"Ohh... uhm. Okay, so what's your special tonight?"
" rib."
"ohh... uhm. We're gonna need another minute."

He ordered alfredo.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015


We hired a new guy that I am training. He's about 6'1", full beard, and he's 18.
I went from "ooh, cutie", to wanting to mother him. I'm getting too old.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Five more days...

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I have been working since Monday. And will continue working until Thursday, unless Work Husband is back in time and I can get him to work a shift. Baseball season started and the moms are calling out on the weekends. WH had a family emergency. So, your little Blondie is on her 7th day of an 11-day streak. I'm on autopilot.
What makes me laugh is when we cover for another server, we act like them as a goof so I get to pretend to be a 6-foot-tall man.

"Has it Been a Long Day?"

Yes, customer who came in an hour before close. It's been a long week and it's not over yet.
We're short-handed and working to death. Please ask me for your extra ranch at the same time I have to heat up your soup so I don't have to make two trips.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

A dream came true.

So, a co-worker the other night was upset about her single lady on 6. She was being generally nasty, complaining about her food being under done then too done, being condescending. At the end of the meal, she asked to see a manager and, "You can bring me a rice pudding."

The manager comes over, she reiterates.. I walk in on quite a scene while I'm starting my fill-ups.
The table next to her, looks like a 20-ish son and parents, are going at her.
The son is saying, "You have been treating this girl like trash all night and it makes me sick. How are you going to sit there and lie and tell the owner she didn't take care of you?"
The lady says, "Well, my waitress never came back."
He is speaking raised-voice, "That is a lie. I have been sitting here witnessing this girl deal with your ignorance. She was an angel all night and put up with you and I can't believe you can sit there and complain."
She got real meek. Her food was wrong, her waitress wasn't good, but she'll just pay and go.

Hearing the whole story - she did put up with this woman and gave her everything she could. The woman was determined to complain. If I had a chance, I would have thanked the kid for saying everything we want to say to problem customers. He even apologized for the scene and left a $20 tip for our poor girl (Problem Woman left $2- must not have felt as guilty as she looked). We were all smiling the rest of the night.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Let's update our cast of characters.

Cook/Owner (CO): I've always been one of his favorites and he usually doesn't give me the normal kitchen problems. Lately, he's been a little tense and riding my ass, but at the end of the day, we good.
Owner/Hostess/Second Mom (V): The one what trained me, keeps me sane, keeps me safe. Sometimes a thorn in my side - but always for my own good.
Buddy: Recently came back. Been there as long as I have, we've always gotten along. Love her face.
Dickhead Host (DH): Oh, I could write pages. Owned and lost three restaurants. Plays favorites. Has.. weird policies and opinions.
Work Husband (WH): Another ray of sunshine, great to work with, great for reaching high things. Also known as Sajak. (I'm Vanna.)
Mary: Been there about three years. A 45-year-old man who gossips worse than a middle-schooler. Gets butthurt over dumb shit. Recently had his hours cut when Buddy came back.
Busboy: Oh my God. The older brother that teases you constantly.

Can't think of anyone else too noteworthy at the moment... You know, the usual rotating doors of a restaurant.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

This made me laugh.

So Work Husband had a table, an older couple.
When they asked the vegetables and she heard we had asparagus she got really excited. "Oh, I love asparagus, I haven't had it in so long, it's so good, I hope it's good here!" etc. etc. This lady was creaming her jeans for the asparagus.

He takes the order, brings everything out, drops off the asparagus - "Oh, there it is, I'm so happy, I love asparagus!"

As he walks away, "I really wanted broccoli."

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Mama... just killed a man...

Well. We have a regular customer. You know those regulars.

He complains about everything to anyone who will lend an ear. Burger too well done, burger not done enough, too much sauce, not enough sauce, too much broth, too much chicken, it never ends. Keep in mind he sits and reads his paper for twenty minutes and wonders why his coffee is cold. You've waited tables for three days, you know this man.

So I decided, next time I get a complaint, (AKA next time I waited on him), I was going to say something. This night, the coffee was warm and the food cold. I tried to see what I could do - take it back, nuke it, give him something else. No. "You're going to take it back cold and it's going to come back cold. I don't know why I come back here anymore."

"Well, you find something to complain about every time you come in, I don't know why you come back either."

He told me he was here for the "good" years, and now apparently the "bad" years. I told him we're getting new customers, we're advertising, etc etc and we have NOT had complaints.

He finally pays and leaves, taking the burger home for the dog. He's still in the parking lot when we close up about 45 minutes later, so we knock on his window and he says he's waiting for an ambulance. They come, they take him, a friend picks his car up the next morning and I hope I didn't give him a heart attack.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

A prayer for the feeble-minded.

I had an interesting interaction today. An elderly gentleman came in today, wanting to order a to-go. The host directs him to me, so I greet him and the following exchange occurs:

Blondie: What would you like, sir?
Elderly Gentleman: I want dinner, but I don't want mashed potatoes.
B: Sure, you can replace that. What would you like for dinner?
EG: Good, can I get french fries instead?
B: Of course, but what is the entree?
EG: They've made it for me before, and it comes with a salad. I just don't want mashed potatoes.
B: Okay.. but... what do you want?
EG: I want dinner to go.
B: Okay, well you have to tell me what you want for dinner. Do you want to look at the menu?
EG: No, no, I had it before. I just don't want mashed potatoes, and I want a salad.

At this point I realize he's a little.. not all there. So I try to avoid getting frustrated and help him out.

B: Okay, do you want chicken, turkey, roast beef, a sandwich? What are you looking for?
EG: Yeah, sure, roast beef, and french fries and a salad.
B: Well, sir, I just want to make sure you're getting what you want, and I can't do that if you don't specify so I can tell the kitchen.
EG: They made it for me before. I just don't want mashed potatoes.

Now, I'm getting a little confused myself and my co-worker can see I'm starting to get annoyed, so she butts in and tells me he normally gets the roast chicken. I ask him if he wants that, and he's saying 'Yeah, sure, I just want dinner' again. I told my co-worker to just take it, because apparently she's waited on him before. She told me later he reminds her of her dad, whose brain is also a little fuddled. When he left, he gave her a 10 and me a 5, which I tried to refuse, but he insisted since "I got no better use for it and at least you tried!"
I hope I'm like that when I'm older. I mean, you can't take it with you when you go.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Opinions, y'all.

I'm sure this is a big issue in more-employed restaurants. What do you guys think about dating a co-worker? Or not even dating, just friends-with-benefits?