It comes and goes. I have made appointments with so many doctors and therapists and psychiatrists and programs and all they've done is put me on waiting lists. Which isn't their fault, I'm certainly not the only one with issues. It's just very frustrating, especially when I have a panic attack that I know was caused by taking a medication not at the EXACT time, without the EXACT amount of water or food.
But, I'm waiting to hear from one of the best rehab programs on the East Coast, but the sick thing is I've gained too much weight to move hire on the list for a bed. Right now I've been shuffling between family members because I can get too volatile for them to handle for more than a little while. The guilt makes the stress worse, which makes the mood swings worse, and... there ya go. I feel optimistic most days.