It comes and goes. I have made appointments with so many doctors and therapists and psychiatrists and programs and all they've done is put me on waiting lists. Which isn't their fault, I'm certainly not the only one with issues. It's just very frustrating, especially when I have a panic attack that I know was caused by taking a medication not at the EXACT time, without the EXACT amount of water or food.
But, I'm waiting to hear from one of the best rehab programs on the East Coast, but the sick thing is I've gained too much weight to move hire on the list for a bed. Right now I've been shuffling between family members because I can get too volatile for them to handle for more than a little while. The guilt makes the stress worse, which makes the mood swings worse, and... there ya go. I feel optimistic most days.
i can relate to the guilt. Sometimes we are the hardest on ourselves. happy to see you're getting on waiting lists and being pro-active. That is often the most difficult thing for a lot of people to do (myself included). Sending positive vibes your way!
ReplyDeleteI understand those feelings. But, the old cliche says, a journey of a thousand miles starts with 1 step, and it sounds like you are several steps on that journey. I am pulling for ya, sister! I hope the waiting lists move quickly for you. It will make a difference once you get the help you deserve. Sending good vibes to you!
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