We have this one couple, the guy is just some fat douche with a low IQ, and the woman is on.. something. Some sort of pills. She's always really slow and really loopy. But that's pretty much irrelevant. They came in the other night, and someone else was their server.
I overheard this: "What are your vadge-tables today?"
And now I can't stop thinking of a garden growing out of a lady's crotch and I'm crying laughing.