A) This bitch is going to Vegas on Monday
B) This DUMB bitch broke her laptop.
So I will be gone for about a week.
I leave you with this question: why do people get so tense over who pays the check?
One time, a man, his mother-in-law, and about six other people at this table had their hands practically in my mouth, they were so close to my face trying to grab this check. I gave it to the hand directly in front of my eyeballs, which turned out to be the son-in-law. I seriously thought the mother-in-law was going to pop me one.
"I'm sorry," I said, "I just gave it to whoever was closest."
I was thinking, "Thank god it wasn't this old bitch, I would have gotten ten percent if I was lucky."
She looked desperately put out.
"But I was sitting RIGHT HERE," she snapped.
I giggled and walked away. Not my problem anymore.
I always want to ask "Well, who leaves bigger tips?" when people fight over the check, but I don't think I would get an honest answer. Or a tip.