People have been... well, not retarded.
So I'll write about OTHER servers. Does anyone else get really tense when eating out after working in 'the biz?' I know I do.
If the server isn't attentive or too much so (a recent waitress must have asked us literally every three minutes if we were okay. I wanted to tell her to shut up and go somewhere.) I either start justifying everything they do - "oh, she just got this big table at a bad time, she'll be back when she has a minute" - or think of how I could do it better - "why is everything on my plate the same temperature? how long did she let it sit there? I know she's not busy."
It's gotten to the point that I prefer takeout because I can barely enjoy my meal because I'm so absorbed in the dynamic of the restaurant. I wonder if they make good money, I wonder what the tip-out situation is, I wonder who disappeared for a smoke break and who's snorting a line in the bathroom, etc etc.