So I'm waiting on a nice family of five in the back.
Enter: fucking crazy lady. We see her every now and again, and she is absolutely nuts. I hide when I see her in the parking lot because last time I waited on her she told me I should model and immediately segued into dentistry which turned into a horribly racist diatribe. She once told us her father died and came in with him a week later. Bitch is nuts.
So, I guess she knew someone in my party in the back and sat her crazy ass right at the table (while leaving her poor dad, who's about 120 years old, sitting at a table alone and probably had no idea where he was) for like twenty minutes. I had already taken their order, thank god. I hate trying to maneuver those situations, where people are horribly engrossed in conversation (in this case, my poor family just being talked AT) and I want to take their freaking order.
Aaaaanyway, one of the women had ordered a salad, and I somehow forgot to ask what kind of dressing she wanted. I brought out soups, salads, and bread, and said,
"I'm sorry, I had a blonde moment and forgot to ask you about the dressing on your salad! Can I get you some?"
Enter insanity incarnate. "Of course she wants dressing!"
Uhm.. okay. I return to the lady I was actually talking to, "What can I get for you?"
At the same time the poor thing says, "Italian," Crazy interrupts.
"She wants IRISH dressing!" In a I'm so cheeky kind of way, like she was making a clever joke or innuendo. Everyone was silent. I walked away and got her italian dressing.