I had a very bad table last night. Very bad. First time at my diner I've waited on the stereotypical drunk/high/otherwise fucked up table of teens.
They were nice, seemingly polite... ordered a LOT of food. Double orders of french toast, cheese steaks with honey mustard and barbecue, etc. One kid couldn't figure out how to use a menu.
Choice quotes I heard while ordering:
"You've already had enough to drink today."
"Duuuuuude. You are so fucking lit right now." (Apparently that means high. I am a bad young person because I had to urban dictionary it.)
They didn't seem too goofy. No red eyes, no stumbling. Maybe a little excessive giggling, but what do you expect from a table of teens?
Anyway, fifty dollar check. I'm hoping for ten bucks, expecting five. They pay and basically run out the door. I would have too if I were them - two dollars.