And isn't it ironic..

That Sunday morning is the most unholy day to work in the restaurant business?
You'd think after a morning of being filled with the Good Word, you'd be a little cheerier to come out and have brunch with your family.
But no. People are cranky bastards who want what they want and NOW, regardless of if they see my full station I'm running around, and the tables I picked up in other stations.

Yes, the money is good. But the aching back, the aching knees, the aggravation - aren't worth it.

It's not just the customers. The servers totally lose their shit and steal stuff. We make our own toast and butter cups for pancakes/french toast, and without fail every time I made some, it would be gone when I got back.

I'll stick to my night shifts, thank you.

Blondie goes corporate?

No... she tried.

I applied at a restaurant with a few locations in the area... but didn't go back for a second interview after learning they split tips.

I'm going to keep applying though, I think I'm ready to get out of the 'family business.'

And to be honest, I'd really like to work up to bartending.

Advice? Stories?

Never disappointing.

Yep. Some... rural types came in.
More polite than they looked, everything went smoothly.

Until the six-dollar tip on the eighty-dollar tab.

Blondie gets fancy.

Well, my honey took me out to an upscale place last night to celebrate his first paycheck.
This excited me. I got to dress up, show off my cute boyfriend, and drink a nine-dollar glass of wine.
Of course, if you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, you know I'm not exactly the classiest bitch. Yes, I know what fork to use and I don't butter my bread before I break it, but I did spill water on myself and giggle like a schoolgirl when Mr. Blonde dropped his knife. Three times.
You can't take us anywhere.
But the food was incredible, the service was great, and my company was divine.

And now... I get to wait on the ritzy folks that come into my diner. Well, I had three days off, I can't be too jaded yet.

Who are my buddies using Blogger?

I don't really understand the 'stats.'
Is it possible to narrow down the locations? Like, are my US viewers in California, Texas, New Jersey, what?!

Also every now and then I see a totally random referring site. Today's was "Best Baby Monitors."

We have a lot of FNG's.

I don't like them.
Well, one is alright. One has grown on me but is still very... aloof, seems a little cold.

One is way too chatty and contrary to what my line of work would have you believe, I do not want to talk to people more than I have to. I do not want her to give me nicknames, I do not want her to joke with me. Also, she's kinda bitchy. The bitchy where they're trying to make a joke... but it's just bitchy.

I've been at this place too long. I'm stuck in my ways and I don't like change.

The streak is broken.

I had three $100+ shifts in a row, until last night. Where I only made half that.

Customers have been pretty normal, no one glaringly stupid.
Except... a man who wanted to order breakfast.
He asked me what we meant by 'hot italian sausage.'

"Well, sir, we have this really sexy guinea in the back for the sole purpose of cooking it."

I had a great night.

I picked up a closing shift tonight.
I thought I would hate it, going from class all day to work all night so I drank a ridiculous amount of coffee.
Instead, I was bouncy and smiley and made a great amount of money.

See, serving isn't all bad.

I also got to tell one of my customers, "Damnit, I wanted you to order the ABC soup so I could take all the letters out except F and U."

Not much to say recently.

I've started school and have been spending time with Mr. Blonde (again, not Michael Madsen), and have cut back my shifts from 5 long ones to 4 shorter ones.

But today, I will write about The Original Comedian.
You know. "How would you like your burger cooked?" "On the grill."
"Can I get you anything else today?" "Stack of fifties/winning lottery ticket/a cabana boy that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose"

I mean... if you come in and say those things EVERY TIME, you know we've heard them before. So why do you continue to say these things? I am at work. I am not amused by you.

I heard a cute one the other day though:
"Do you need a minute?" "Why, you giving them away for free?"
I had never heard it before. I was genuinely surprised and laughed sincerely.

Then he said it again the next time he came in. Sigh.

How do these people get through life?

"I'll have the chicken parm."
"Sure! Is spaghetti alright?"
"What kind of spaghetti is it?"
"Uhm..... spaghetti kind?"

Somehow I figured out that she was using spaghetti as a blanket term for pasta.
Unfortunately, this is not the first time this has happened.
She finally ended up ordering the "peony."

Sigh.