Instead of complaining today, (my attempt to be more cheerful at work went better than expected... although it did not seem to help tips), I want to write about my some of my favorite regulars. These are the ones that we fight over when we see them walk in the door. I wish they came in every day, but I'm sure they couldn't afford to - as you'll soon see why.
These are the 'twenty dollar people.'
A middle-aged couple, completely normal looking, comes in, sit down, and we all attack the turn sheet to see who gets to take them.
Their lucky waitress gets their drink order. She brings over their sodas and gets their food order... usually prime ribs, pork chops, etc.
Before she turns to go to the kitchen, he will hand her twenty dollars and say 'that's for you.'
Obviously, they receive excellent service every time.
AND they still leave a twenty percent tip at the end of the meal as well. Girls have been known to walk away from that table with almost $30 dollars for practically no work. They are easy, they aren't demanding, and they GIVE YOU TWENTY FREAKING DOLLARS BEFORE YOU EVEN PUT THEIR ORDER IN.
These people need an infomercial. They are goddamn brilliant. They need to go on the Wendy Williams Show.
"Let me tell you the one simple habit that changed my life, Wendy.
...I tip my waitress....... before I eat."
No more guesswork on how much effort to put in the table. No more kicking the salad bar or punching the busboy in frustration. It's a beautiful concept.