People, when your server is speaking - it's not for our health. Sometimes it may be because we like to hear ourselves speak for our own entertainment, but I PROMISE you I know what I'm doing. I will answer any and all questions you may have, probably before you ask me, if you just shut the fuck up and listen to me.
All night tonight:
"What can I get you to dri-"
"What kind of soup do you have today?"
"I'll be right back to take your or-"
"Don't you have any bigger glasses? Mom, do you want to order soup?"
(I liked this one because the mom said "Let her go! She'll be back!")
"Are you guys doing ok-"
"Can I get this to go?"
"Do you need a bo-"
"Doesn't this come with dessert?"
Seriously. Seriously, guys. Come on. I will tend to your needs.
On a similar note, I hate when I'm putting food down and people say "Can I have a refill?"
I want to say, "Yes, but I'm taking your food with me while I get it."