It's always been one of my favorite sayings, but serving has truly given new meaning to it.
Last night, I was definitely the asshole. I had a family where the parents were just... rude.
The hostess told me last time the mother had said "Go ahead and give me three forks now, cause the baby will throw them everywhere." Screw that, don't give the child the damn forks! It looked like a bomb had hit when they left - crayons, silverware, placemats.. all on the floor.
She gave the entire family's order rapid-fire while looking at me like she wanted to be anywhere else, and the dad was guzzling iced teas like it was breastmilk of the gods. Okay, fine.
Then I had a couple who hollered "Miss!" every time I was in their line of view - more rolls, more soda, he doesn't like his meal, etc. I can deal with that.
Then I had the OLDEST couple ever, with their son who had to ask them three times what they wanted. What sides. What soup. And then they each asked me "what do you have?" It took me ten minutes to get an order out of them. After I told them three times we don't serve alcohol. I was patient and answered them over and over again with a smile. I don't think any of them knew where they were.
After I got rid of them, I rounded the corner and saw our least-favorite (or one of) counter regulars at the counter. Our hostess just looked at me and we both started cracking up as I got his water with extra lemon. I said, "At this point, it's just hilarious. "