Saturday, May 14, 2011

Wrangle your children!

Seriously, muzzle and leash them if you have to, 'cause they're pissing me off.

Today, we had a child who apparently wanted dessert. I know this not because I am a mind reader (seriously, I'm not, so when your order is wrong because you didn't tell me you hate tomatoes you can suck one), but because his parents let him scream "I WANT MY DESSERT I WANT MY DESSERT" the entirety of the meal. If I were his parents, I would have been forced to say, "If you can't shut the hell up and ask nicely, you're not getting anything." And if he did not shut the hell up, his happy ass would be on the car, on the way home, sans dessert.

Another little snot-nose punk I have a history with. I will preface this by saying a few people call me "blondie" at work. I will respond to it if it is used as an affectionate nickname, I will not of their eyes are telling me they mean it as "dumb blonde" or "I do not care to learn your name, simple server, now bring me my french fries." And I've been a blonde all my life, I know the difference.
Now this kid's white-trash dad? uncle? inbred cousin? took to calling me 'blondie' in the latter form. I told him semi-politely (but with an undertone of "I will follow you home and put sugar in your gas tank, you wang banger"), what my real name was. But the little brat will still holler "HEY, BLONDIE!" across the restaurant at me when he needs something. AKA, every thirty seconds. His family giggles like it's freaking adorable and lets him be a self-entitled asshole. That, among other reasons, is why they are one of only two or three tables I refuse to wait on.

Seriously, parents. I'm all for bringing your kid out and socializing him/her or whatever, but if they act up, they won't learn if you don't correct them.


  1. If someone called me that, I'd probably shoot back something along the lines of "What would you like Dagwood?" or if it were a kid "Just a minute Baby Dumpling..."
    It's obscure humor, but characters from the old Blondie cartoon...

  2. Oh, ho, the first "I WANT DESSERT" we would've dragged all five of our offspring out of the restaurant and saved the staff the heartache. Fortunately my kids knew that dessert was a treat and not a given. I hate those little brats that do that and the parents that raise them. grrrr

    And I would have to bite my tongue till it bled if someone called me blondie [also a blond*] in a derogatory way. Wrong on several levels. Anon's "Dagwood" comment is perfect. Wish I thought of it way back when.

    *okay - more gray then anything giggle

  3. Anon- I love your idea! I'll have to brush up on my blondie knowledge for snappier comebacks.

    And skippy, thank you for knowing how to raise yours kids! My mom was the same way when I was younger and it pains me to see parents who don't know the meaning of manners or discipline.